There will be 5 episodes.


So I just finished watching the very first Star Wars movie for the first time today.

All throughout my life I never had the chance to watch it and I didn’t want to because I thought it would be boring. But I saw some videos about Baby Yoda and thought he was fucking adorable and no one ever seems to shut up about Star Wars nowadays so I’d thought I would watch the first movie and see what everyone is yapping about.

IMHO I feel that the success of Star Wars is massively disproportionate to how interesting it actually is. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t bad, I just don’t get why it somehow became this cultural phenomena with people unironically listing “Jedi” as their religion and shit. It seems more fitting as an old obscure cult film that is almost entirely forgotten about a year after release. That would make more sense.

However I wouldn’t say there’s much that the movie actually fucked up. A lot of it is just boring; like the first 30 minutes of the entire movie. It only became interesting when Luke met Obi-Wan and the latter dumped all that exposition which was actually kinda interesting. Before then all I saw was a mishmash of laughably shitty special effects and just absolute joyless boredom coming from the least interesting part of the movie storywise. Thanks for reminding me of why I take Zoloft, movie. Though I’ll admit that sassy and witty gold homo android thing is objectively the best character in the entire series and the whole movie should have just been a comedy about him on Tatooine just messing around and making snarky comments while trying to get a boyfriend or something. He was the only reason why I didn’t drop the movie within the first 30 minutes. The dialog and comic relief is actually really solid and enertaining at times, I'll give the movie that.

Regardless of the fact that the plot picks up from that point on, it was hard for me to feel immersed when watching the movie because first off, the fights are really boring and shitty. It’s just lights moving and flashing across the screen and it lacked any kinda of coherance TBH. It all just felt like a blur and I kept spacing out throughout all those action scenes. Even the so called “climax” where they get into aerial dogfights while trying to destroy the Death Star isn’t immune to what I'm talking about.

The second reason why I wasn’t able to really feel immersed is that the plot gets really contrived such as when after Luke and Han save Leia, somehow they don’t get shot at all when fighting against the stormtroopers despite the corridors being small with little space to cover when they try to escape, or when Obi-Wan “sneaks” around the Death Star without any of the guards noticing him despite him being less than like, 10 feet from him and the fact he appears to just be walking around normally without trying to be stealthy. There’s also the bit with the Death Star having a massive design flaw which ends up leading to the deaths of everyone on there. Was Bevel (The guy who was the architect behind the Death Star according to Google) high or some shit?

So all in all it was an ok movie I guess. I don’t know if I wanna watch the second and third ones.

Instead of watching Star Wars go play Mass Effect instead. Now that’s an epic space opera trilogy. It’s available for PS3, Xbox 360, and PC.