So at school I was given an English assignment where I was given a series of questions that were basically just mini writing prompts asking us to describe the perfect Halloween party. I actually thought that was kinda cool and I was really getting into the groove of it until I called Nick II a cunt a billion times and he told me to leave the classroom, which led to me running away from the school campus, bookbag with the assignment in hand. I decided to finish it at home because I was really digging this fantasy of this Halloween party I had constructed. Here’s what I wrote down:
Q: Where is this party located?
Ok, the best Halloween party would be up in the mountains that make up the border of the valley and Downtown Los Angeles. Like, on Mulholland. Ideally it would be a big, multistory house owned by me.
Q: What year was this house built?
The house was probably built in the 20th century.
Q: When will the party occur?
The party starts at 7 PM.
Q: Who is invited?
My friends will be invited and they are allowed to bring along 2 people of their choosing.
Q: Describe the house.
The house uses Spanish-Moorish styled architecture. The walls outside are made up of brightly colored stucco.
Q: Describe the graveyard.
I have a cheap looking fake graveyard in the backyard.
Q: Describe the guests.
I suppose the guest of the night would be some guy who’s semi-famous in LA. An up and coming star in the in the local underground/indie music scene.
Q: What will be served at the party?
I’ll probably just get lazy with food and just leave chips and beer all around the house. Maybe I’d order some pizzas too.
Q: What kind of music will be played?
The soundtrack to tonight’s party consists of a highly premeditated list of doom, stoner, and death/doom metal music. Bands that are featured consist of, but are not limited to; Black Sabbath, Paradise Lost, and Electric Wizard.
Q: Describe something special that will occur at midnight.
At midnight I tell everyone to fuck off. Does that count?
Q: Describe how the party went.
I would hope that the party goes really well and is awesome. People would be spending time drinking, dancing, doing hard drugs, try to fuck in both small secluded spaces inside the house and right outside of the house; probably in some bushes or something, getting into antics that lead to shit getting broken, and generally shooting the shit and gossiping about people they barely even know, if even that. At one point this guy almost OD’d because he had the bright idea of seriously shooting up pure black tar heroin on the toilet in the bathroom upstairs. Luckily, a friend of a friend figures out something’s up and when opening the bathroom door, unannounced, finds him almost about to die. He shouts out to get help until someone who happened to have some narcan on hand goes over there and saves the dude’s life. Those guys were fucking heroes..
Q: State how many people were scared to DEATH.
Nobody was cared to death because we’re not fucking children.