Principles Before Personalities.

So I’ve been going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for quite some time now with my dad. Neither of us drink and he claims to go because he wants to meet people and reconnect with old friends apparently. I just go just for my personal amusement. It’s fun to watch losers talk about their pathetic lives in front of other losers.

But as you would expect, I’m not vocal at all about this at meetings. I just sit there silently trying to blend in without saying anything aside from the shit that everyone else says when everyone holds hands and are in a circle. It’s a feeling of epicaricacy that is hidden from everyone else.

I’ve heard some unique stories from my time there. There was once this man who grew up with his adopted family in Tijuana and then one day a robber came murdered his entire family when he wasn’t home. This guy claimed that the event put him in “so much rage” that’s what made him a drinker. When I told The Boy Named Crow about this, he just said “Damn that sucks.”. I said I thought that moment was pretty funny because of how cartoonish it was. It’s kinda weird that this one guy was apparently able to murder an entire household when just trying to kill 2 people on your own can be pretty difficult. It just fell into the realm of unreality.

There always seems to be an old woman with brown hair whenever I go there. I don’t know why.

Yesterday me and dad went to this meeting and this guy was telling this very long story and since we just walked in during the middle of it I don’t really know the whole story and he kept going on about rabbis and god or whatever. The room was really dark which made sense since it was at 10 something PM and I just kept staring at the white LED lights hung on the wall behind him as he spoke and the patterns they made or the ceiling fan and the slow movement it made before it made it’s eventual stop. I remember there was this old guy sitting in a chair in a corner of the room on my right saying stuff like “Oh god is this guy still talking?” but no one except me seemed to notice him when he said that at all.

When the guy finally stopped talking all of a sudden some guy in the crowd got up with his shitty acoustic guitar and started playing some shitty song and singing. I told dad “This song is shit.” and “We should split.”. But dad wanted to stay and said no and I can just go to the car and wait for him if I’d like. But I insisted that “We should go.” and eventually I decided to walk home by myself and asked for house keys, which he gave to me.

I just walked home alone that night listening to some podcast that doesn’t suck and went to sleep not long after returning home.