The Postmodern Metaphor.

Today I get up and spend some time on my phone listening to the audio book of Glamorama which was just posted a month ago on YouTube. The ride to school on the taxi was pretty uneventful. I keep thinking about that new Sonic movie and my plans to try to see it in theaters. I wonder about if I should just give up on this site since it’s harder to come up with good material.

Despite being a sunny day it was cold as fuck outside. When I get to school I and everyone else had to give the teachers at the front gate our phones like we always do every day and then I went to my first period.

I was tired and felt like falling asleep but I decided to stay awake until 4th period which was my Geometry class. Fuck that class.

In the middle of 3rd period I was suddenly called to leave the class by my new counselor who I have to talk to every week now. We went into the principal’s office when he wasn’t there to talk. The sofa was comfy and I felt myself getting completely lost in it’s comfort. I kept thinking about Nick, my previous counselor. I miss him so much. Just as much as my mother.

Anyways, this new counselor who’s name I never got asked me some questions from some sheet in order to get to know me better. There was plenty of questions that I couldn’t answer, mostly because I was so tired. The final question was “Where do you see yourself?” or something like that. I told her that I see myself as the star of the latest BestGore snuff video because I, being too nosy for my own good, asked one too many questions which leads to my recorded murder by a terrorist group or cartel…

”Why do you want that to happen?” she said.

”I don’t. But it’s gonna happen and there’s nothing that I can do about it. That’s just the way it is.”

”What makes you think that’s gonna happen?”

”I dunno. Gut feeling.”

This lead to a debate about free will and choice and destiny. I don’t actually remember much about it though.

After the therapy session the bell had already rung so I entered my 4th period class right in the middle of it and then I saw that gay guy who I wanted to bang (His name is Lucas btw) sitting in a chair and he gives a displeased reaction to me entering the room. Me and him started out having an ok relationship with me being flirty and friendly to him but I got a little impatient because he wasn’t putting out and so I treated him as coldly like most other people so we’re enemies now apparently. Though, it’s not like I wanted him to be my boyfriend or anything—I just wanted to fuck him once and then never talk to him again.

Sometimes I have this fantasy set in an alternate universe where he’s a woman and our one night stand got him pregnant. Me and Lucas are driving in this car in the city on a very dark overcast day. There are hardly any other cars on the street and there’s virtually no one on the sidewalks. Neither of us are looking at the other with me just staring straight at the road while he looks out the half open window on his right while doing a cigarette. Eventually I drive the car into a near empty driveway behind the abortion clinic he’s gonna go to and he opens the door and walks out and goes right into the building without either of us exchanging any words and then I drive away, never seeing him again.

So instead of doing schoolwork I just put my head down on the desk and fell asleep and woke up to the period almost being over and when 5th period starts it’s art class and we have to do an assignment where we have to draw something that has both “warm” and “cold” colors in it and I just decided to doodle scribbles with a yellow and blue crayon and called it a day and the teacher was ok with it because I said it was “a postmodern metaphor for being biracial” and she was wowed and said “That’s deep.”