My quest to stop being a fatass.

The suicide picture I showed Annie.

So yesterday I was in the bathroom without a shirt for some reason I can't remember. I saw that my back and my hip areas were covered, no, infected with stretch marks from me being a fatass. I felt shocked when I saw stretch marks which were red as a blood moon. I was horrified and I kinda felt like shit and I contemplated starving myself so I could become skinny. But when I looked that up online I came to the conclusion it was a bad idea. Later I decided to go on an walk to try to lose some weight. My sister, Annie, works at a gym so I decided to text her for some advice. Here's how that went.

Me: Omg
Me: My skin is so awful
Me: I have fucking bright red stretch marks everywhere
Me: I'm so fat
Me: Why is healthy food so uneatable
Me: Fuckin hate green veggies
Me: I need like, plastic surgery
Annie: Put them into a shake and you can't taste them
Annie: Do you have a blender?
Me: No
Me: Should I kill myself
Me: I'd rather die than be fat
Annie: Vegetables can be good you just need to season them properly
Me: *Picture of an obese women on "My 600-lb Life"*
Me: This is me
Me: Should I go on an diet like the people in Auschwitz and only eat bread and drink water
Annie: That only makes you fatter dummy
Annie: There are so many resources online
Annie: Also I lost 100 lbs riding a bike over a period of six months
Annie: I ate whatever I want
Annie: You need cardio
Me: I can't run though
Me: I'm one of those types of people who can only speedwalk
Annie: A bicycle dummy
Annie: A bike is way better
Me: Bikes suck
Annie: If you do 5 miles a day you lose 4 lbs a week
Me: I refuse to use one
Annie: Okay then stay fat
Annie: You can't speed walk to skinny
Annie: And you don't wanna eat well
Annie: You have two options eat less or move more
Me: I got my first ever wound when I was 3 and trird to ride a bike
Me: So
Me: I'm afraid to ride bikes
Annie: Try again
Me: Fine I'll eat less
Me: Fuck
Me: Fuck my life
Annie: It's not gonna work the way you want it to, if you starve yourself without exercise you will get loose skin
Me: Fuck
Annie: Just like the people in auschwitz
Annie: If you exercise while eating less everything will tighten up
Annie: Or you're gonna look like a loose bag of skin"
Me: *Picture of a dead man who hung himself*
Annie: Can you not

I told her that I don't have a bike but she didn't respond after that. Anyways, I'm still trying to lose weight by only eating twice a day and drinking a lot of water. I went on a walk and did some running this morning too.