Violence and Aggression

On October 29, I got sent home early. When I got home, I decided to just lay down in bed and talk to someone about what happened. I did this by getting out my phone and going to the sms app on my phone.

Me: How far would you go for a friend
Annie: Travel yes trouble no
Me: I got sent home for slapping a bitch was shittalking my friends
Me: I feel a little regret
Me: Even though I still hate her
Annie: Look whose in trouble
Annie: They got to stay home
Annie: At school *
Annie: And you went home
Annie: Look whose in trouble
Me: At first I just ran up to her desk and put a fist to her face and said “Shut up bitch!”
Me: I then grabbed a fire extinguisher
Me: To feel safe
Annie: It’s like you want to go to jail
Me: The teacher wanted the extinguisher back
Annie: I’m sorry but it’s cowardly
Annie: Kids like you used to make me hate school. You can’t handle anything so you attack people
Me: I swung it at him once and he told me to leave
Me: And as I walked out that’s when the slap happened
Annie: You shouldn’t have done it
Me: Yeah
Me: I shouldn’t
Me: But she also had it coming
Annie: It’s just very uncool
Annie: Like do you wanna be that guy
Me: She’s normally nonexistent
Me: Just fading into the background and all of a sudden she has shit to say
Because we were talking shit about another girl who was having a tantrum over literally nothing
Annie: Just like you
Me: No
Me: I just wanted to defend the people I care about
Me: She was just a whiny bitch
Annie: That’s not how you do it
Annie: I’m sorry but you sound like a clown
Annie: Like who hits girls
Me: So?
Annie: You should be kicked out of school and maybe you’d learn
Me: No way
Annie: Keep messing up your future for people you won’t remember in two years
Annie: They get to stay in class and learn and your home still going to school when you should’ve graduate
Me: That doesn’t fucking matter
Me: They make school tolerable
Me: It’s not like we were doing anything in class either
Just watching a movie
Annie: And you can’t even do that
Me: So stop making retarded judgments about situations you barely know about
Annie: It’s retarded to you because you’re incapable of growing up or taking any kind of criticism
Annie: Thank god I’m not there or you would swing on me too
Me: Whatever
Annie: Classic [REDACTED] can’t take any kind of talking bc he will hit you
Me: I understand why mom chose black tar over you
Me: Later bitch
Annie: Keep beating up girls I’m sure she’d be proud
Annie: :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts: she didn’t use when she was pregnant with me like she did with you :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:
Me: Bullshit
Me: She told me the opposite
Annie: Whose beating up people who agressive mental issues? Me or you :sleeping::sleeping::sleeping::sleeping:
Me: Whatever go work yourself to death
Annie: I’m not gonna argue with a child. It’s exhausting. Especially one that lacks so much self awareness. We don’t need to talk
Me: Fuck off then cunt
Annie: Keep doing whatever you think is right
Annie: Okay [REDACTED] bye
Me: Okay

After that I was feeling so much negative emotions that I didn’t feel like doing anything but sleep. All I wanted to do was escape into a pleasant dream world... forever. I often do hope for stuff like that. It’s pointless but I still do it. My insignificance in this world makes me feel despair at not being able to change reality in any significant way. It sucks. It sucks. I said that twice because that’s how deep this feeling is.

5 days later, after skipping Monday and Tuesday out of discomfort, Me and dad went to the school to talk it over in a meeting with the director of the school.

I was sitting on a bench indoors while dad was in the other room talking with the director about what do to with me. The door to the meeting was wide open and bench was not too far away so I overheard some of their conversation.

After they were done chatting they went out the door and stood near me. They explained that I was gonna now attend a different class with a brand new teacher. Effective immediately.

I couldn’t believe that the director guy just dropped a bomb like that on me and then expected me to just take it and go straight to class. I told dad that I wanted to leave and he agreed to take me home. I just needed time to let this shit sink into my head. When I got home I got into bed and hoped for a better existence as I fell asleep.